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Originally posted on Serendipity – Seeking Intelligent Life on Earth:
I was a child in the 1950’s and a teenager in the 1960’s. So I should be well versed in the misogynistic attitudes that were, and in some ways still…
Grandpa, what’s joy? Is it like happiness?
Good morning, Elijah! What brought that up?
Mom keeps singing “Joy to the world”! What’s joy? What’s the world?
Joy is deep gladness, Elijah. Happiness is like joy, but joy is deeper. It has to do with who you and and an inexplainable assurance about you, your Mom, and the world. It’s a deep inner gladness. You show it to me every day. Don’t let the world take away your gladness, Elijah!
Okay, Grandpa! But what’s with that third stanza, that thing about the curse?
Oh, that! “No more let sins and sorrows grow, Nor thorns infest the ground; He comes to make his blessings flow Far as the curse is found, Far as the curse is found, Far as, far as, the curse is found.”
Yeah, that. What’s the curse, Grandpa? We’re not supposed to curse, right?
Right. But this is a different kind of curse. It’s the curse of selfishness and greed that bring sorrow to the world.
Isaac Watts — he’s the one who wrote the words to “Joy to the World” for Christmas — knew all about selfishness and greed when he wrote “Joy to the World” way back in 1719. Isaac was English. He knew all about colonialism and the nations.
Yeah, my baby-sitter really loves that last stanza about the nations! She says American exceptionalism is a curse. She really likes that fourth stanza. “He rules the world with truth and grace, And makes the nations prove The glories of His righteousness, And wonders of His love, And wonders of His love, And wonders, wonders, of His love.”
Grandpa, what are the seven last words?
Oh, my, Elijah, that’s a strange question for this season.
Why? What’s a ‘season’?
A season is a period of days or weeks, a period of time. Right now we’re in the Advent season and Christmas season is almost here.
Okay, thanks. So . . . why is a question about the seven words strange for this season?
Because the Seven Last Words are from Good Friday. This isn’t Holy Week; we’re getting ready for Christmas.
That’s not what my baby-sitter says! She says the seven last words are diversity, fetus, transgender, vulnerable, entitlement, science-based, and evidence-based. We’re never ever supposed to use those words again. Are those curse words, Grandpa?
No, Elijah, they’re not curse words. But the ones who told the Center for Disease Control not to use seven words anymore are cursers. They’re substituting their seven words for Jesus’s seven last words.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reportedly received a list from the Trump administration on Dec. 14 consisting of seven words or phrases that will be banned in all official documents prepared for 2018’s budget. Many in the U.S., both those who work in public health and concerned citizens alike, are struggling to come to grips with the nature of the terms that are being censored.
The seven forbidden words or phrases are: “evidence-based,” “science-based,” “vulnerable,” “entitlement,” “diversity,” “transgender,” and “fetus.”– Futurism.com.
Grandpa, I was a fetus just seven months ago. Oops! I shouldn’t have used that word!
Yes, and you’re still very vulnerable. But, according to the You-Know-Who Administration, we’re not supposed to talk about that.
So those are the ‘Seven Last Words’?
No, those are seven words that the CDC is not supposed to use anymore in its 2018 budget preparations, but the “Seven Last Words” are very different. We’re Christians, Elijah. We listen to the news with the Seven Last Words from the cross ringing in our ears.
So…we’re supposed to consider the ‘seven words’ of the You-Know-Who Administration in light of the ‘Seven Last Words’?
Yes, Elijah. Yes. And they’re very different.
So…was Jesus a scientist? What did he say from the cross, Grandpa, and what’s a cross?
No, Jesus wasn’t a scientist, but he loved the truth, just like real scientists do. A cross was the means of a state execution, Elijah. It was the way the Roman Empire killed people who got in the way of their agenda. Lots of people were executed during Jesus’s time. Jesus was executed. In our tradition, there are seven words he spoke from the cross.
Okay, I’m starting to get the picture. So what were the ‘Seven Last Words’?
Okay. Remember these and share them with Marissa tomorrow at day care.
James Tissot, What Jesus Saw from the Cross, Brooklyn Museum of Art
So does God forgive the You-Know-Who Administration because they don’t know what they’re doing?
Hmmm. Good question, Elijah. Sure looks to me like they know exactly what they’re doing, but even when we think we know what we’re doing, I guess we really don’t. And “Behold your son; behold your mother” was a ‘word’ spoken to Jesus’s vulnerable mother and his best friend, but, according to the You-Know-Who Administration we can’t say ‘vulnerable’ any more. All those words are ‘finished’.
Yeah! And that’s not right! I’m still little but I pay attention to the ‘Seven Last Words’. I’m going to be like Jesus’s friend. I’m going to take care of my vulnerable mother, Grandpa. Mom and I are vulnerable. Who’s going to take care of us if the You-Know-Who Administration doesn’t?
Like Jesus said, “into your hands I commit my spirit.” Remember, Elijah, the cross doesn’t have the last word. No one expected Easter. We live in resistance to cruelty with hope in a better tomorrow. It’s also the season of Chanuka, the Festival of Lights when our Jewish friends — always remember, Elijah, that Jesus was a Jew — light a new candle of hope every day to remember how an occupying power like the You-Know-Who Administration in the second century BCE was brought down by the Maccabean revolt. Thus us a season for hope, Elijah.
Child lighting candle of Chanukah menorah
Grandpa, Grandma just called you a racist!
No, she didn’t, Elijah. She said I’m a Sadist. She was just kidding.
What’s a sadist?
It’s a husband who doesn’t do his fair share of the housework.
Is that like a racist?
Hmmm. I hadn’t thought of it, Elijah, but now that you mention it, I suppose it is.
How’s that?
Well, a Sadist is mean. So is a racist. They both demean others they regard as less important than themselves.
So you’re both.
Both what?
A sadist and a racist.
Now that you mention it, I suppose I am, Elijah. I’m a descendant of the Mayflower.
Voyage of the Mayflower
What’s a ‘Mayflower’, Grandpa? Is it the like the flowers you give Grandma?
No. What are you talking about? I only give flowers to Grandma on our anniversary.
Why? You may, if you want, and you should, Grandpa. But first you should help with the dishes and the housework. Otherwise you’ll be both a racist and a sadist. I feel bad for Grandma! You’re not only a sadist; you’re a misogynist!
Where’d you pick up that word?
I hear lots of stuff you don’t know about, Grandpa. I pick up a lot of words at Marissa’s house. She’s really mad at a bunch of guys. She watches lots of CNN and MSNBC — Harvey What’s-His-Name in Hollywood, Kevin Spacey, Roy Moore, and You Know Who. She really likes Rachel. She’s hoping that woman who got thrown out of the White House tells on the Chief Racist-Sadist-Mesogynist. Marissa says Omorosa could bring down You Know Who.
I do know who Who is, Elijah, and Omorosa, and I love Marissa. But you need to be careful not to swallow everything other people says about others. You don’t want to be self-righteous, Elijah. None of us is righteous.
There you go again, Grandpa, slipping out of the noose. Excuses, excuses, excuses! You should be more righteous. Give Grandma some mayflowers, unload the dishwasher, and be a better husband around the house. Otherwise you’ll just be like You Know Who!
Elijah talking about his day with Marissa
Grandpa, Marissa threw her shoe at the television this morning.
Did she break the television?
No, actually, it was a slipper but she thew it hard.
Why’d she throw her slipper at the TV, Elijah?
She thew it at the President.
Why? What was he doing?
He was talking bad to the FBI! He said people like Marissa are “the worst of the worst,” Grandpa! Before I could understand what he’d said, her slipper sailed by my play pen and hit the TV!
Wow! That must have been scary!
manual labor roofing a house for a roofer
Yeah, but what Marissa said he said was scarier. Marissa said the President’s either evil or ignorant and that he should come to Minnesota to see what her cousins do. He should meet some immigrants. They’re not the worst of the worst. Miguel works up on roofs in the hot sun 16 hours a day all summer long, Grandpa.
Her other cousin, Maria, makes minimum wage cleaning toilets and making beds for a hotel. It’s not enough to live on. She works hard, Grandpa. So does Marissa. They’re not the worst of the worst. They work harder than you do!
So I have an idea, Grandpa.
Okay, Elijah. Let’s hear it. “Out of the mouths of babes….”
I’m not a baby anymore, Grandpa. I crawled today. I’m seven.
Well, you’re not seven. You’re seven-months. But it doesn’t matter. You’re very wise. Let’s hear it.
Okay, Grandpa, here’s my idea. Everyone elected to office in the United States should have to pass a six-week orientation re-roofing houses and cleaning toilets to qualify for taking the oath of office. That way people like the President will stop insulting good hard-working people like Marissa, Miguel, and Maria, like he did this morning, and Marissa won’t break here television. She can’t afford a new one.
Freshman Class of 115th Congress, January 2017
What a great idea, Elijah! That’s a GREAT idea. Maybe an Amendment to the U.S. Constitution requiring a six-month orientation working in minimum-wage jobs before the oath of office is administered as a hedge against evil, ignorance and the worst of the worst serving in office.
Yeah! Let’s amend the Constitution! What’s a Constitution?
Sometimes, Elijah, you make me smile, even on cruel days when I don’t feel like it.
Before Elijah goes to bed, he likes to explore things. Sometimes he explores his hands. Sometimes he explores his feet. Sometimes he explores Barclay’s tail. Sometimes he explores Grandpa’s face.
Elijah explores Grandpa’s face
Elijah is curious. Everything in life is new, even if it’s old to me. Maybe especially when it’s old to me. Things like an old gnarly face.
Elijah is like a visitor in a children’s zoo or museum that allows him to touch whatever interests him. An old chin. A nose. A wrinkled neck. A light spot where the dermatologist has removed something suspicious. A mouth from which he brings words and laughter.
Elijah brings his own laughter. Especially when he doesn’t mean to. Joy is like that. “And a little child shall lead them.”
Elijah is with Grandma this morning. On the verge of crawling, but not quite getting the hang of it, he’s sending greetings and a smile to Grandpa. Grandpa shares it here with other news-weary gluttons of punishment on Views from the Edge. Families are always a little whacked! Sometimes, to preserve the bonds of affection, we’d all be better off if we couldn’t talk. 🙂
Grandpa, I have a new cousin!
Newborn Calvin — Elijah’s first cousin
Yes, I know. Calvin was born last week. He’s beautiful!
Yeah. What’s a cousin?
Well, you seem pretty excited, so I thought you must know what a cousin is. But since you asked, Calvin is the child born to your mother’s brother, Andrew, and your Aunt Alice. Because he’s your mother’s brother’s child, that makes Calvin your first cousin.
But he wasn’t borned, Grandpa. He was taken.
What do you mean? Of course, he was born. By the way, he was born, not borned. You’ll learn about tenses later.
Okay. Whatever. Mom was pretty tense when Calvin was borned because he wasn’t borned; he was taken by Caesar.
Julius Caesar
Oh, my, Elijah! Where’d you learn about Caesar? Caesar didn’t “take” him; Calvin was taken by Cesarian section. It’s a medical procedure, not a kidnapping.
Yeah, so Calvin never got to be borned like me. He never had to fight his way into the world like I did. I’ll teach him how to fight, Grandpa. He’s my first cousin, my little cousin.
It’s much more complicated than that, Elijah. Someday you’ll understand it better. It wasn’t that Calvin wasn’t fighting his way through the birth canal; your Aunt Alice’s blood pressure became dangerously high. You’re lucky to have Calvin for your cousin. And he lives just a mile away from you and Mom. You’ll get to play with each other all the time.
Do you have a first cousin, Grandpa?
I do, Elijah. Lots of them. But, when I was growing up, all my first cousins lived far, far away in Maine and Massachusetts. We lived in Pennsylvania. We only got to play with each other for two weeks every summer when my parents took me there on vacation. You’re fortunate, Elijah! You and Calvin are both blessed to have each other. So are Grandma and Grandpa.
That’s sad, Grandpa. That’s really sad. But you’re not making sense. You said “first cousins“. Calvin’s my first cousin. You can’t have more than one first cousin. Sometimes i worry you’re losing it, Grandpa. But even if you are, my first cousin Calvin and my other cousins, if I have any, will take care of you and Grandma. I promise!
What can’t you take, Elijah?
You-Know-Who!
No, I don’t. You said you can’t take “it” anymore. Not “who”. What are you talking about?
Grandpa, I can’t take “it” anymore because You-Know-Who is making me cry!
I’m sorry, but I still don’t know who “who” is. Who’s “who”?
Grandpa, you’re supposed to know this stuff!!!
Well, communication’s a very tricky thing, Elijah, as you’re finding out. You can”t assume other people know what you mean by “it” and “You-Know-Who”. They don’t unless you spell it out. Clear communication depends on you.
No. Depends are for adults, Grandpa; we discussed this yesterday. Huggies are for us. Your generation wears Depends; my generation wears Huggies. And President You-Know-Who is taking away all the huggies your generation is supposed to give the next generation.
Ah, so now you’re speaking more clearly! You-Know-Who is President You-Know-Who, the president whose name your babysitter refuses to say out loud like all the curse words she’s teaching you not to use. So now I know who “who” is. But I still don’t know what “it” is? What is “it” you can’t take anymore, Elijah?
Grandpa, you know! “Who” and “it” are the same thing. You-Know-Who just made an announcement in Utah — something about cutting bears’ ears and shrinking grand staircases. He thinks they’re too big. How big can bears ears be? He just keeps wrecking stuff. And he’s all in for that guy from Alabama! What’s with that?
Oh, you mean Roy Moore?
Yeah, Roy Moore, the 10 Commandments guy.
Bill Day cartoon – The 10 Commandments and Roy Moore
He’s not a 10 Commandments guy, Elijah. Neither is You-Know-Who. They only know one commandment and they think it’s about them: “I am the LORD, your God. You shall have no other gods before me.” That’s the First Commandment.
Yeah! “Love yourself only, and feel free to abuse women, teenage girls, and Bears Ears and Grand Staircase Monuments in Utah.”
Bears Ears National Monument
I’m glad we had this talk, Elijah. You’ve made yourself clear. I can’t take “it” or You-Know-Who anymore either. “It” seems to get worse every day.
But remember the Sabbath, to keep it holy, Elijah. We all need to take a break and remember who’s God.
Elijah asks Grandpa about President You-Know-Who
Grandpa, is President You-Know-Who an adult?
Yes, Elijah, he’s 71 years old. You have to be an adult to president. The Constitution says so. You have to be at least 35. Why?
Marissa says he’s a brat. I thought all brats were children.
No, some brats are adults. Some people just never grow up. They think the whole world is centered on them. I don’t want you to grow up thinking that!
Mom told me that last night when I was acting like a brat!
Elijah, I think you must have misunderstood Mom. No six-month old is a brat. You just have needs that sometimes demand a lot of Mom’s attention.
Yeah, like when I need my diapers changed. Does President You-Know-Who’s Mom ever change his diapers, Grandpa?
No, Elijah. He stopped wearing diapers many years ago.
Hmmm. That’s weird.
Why? Why is it weird? President You-Know-Who’s an adult. Only incontinent adults wear diapers for adults. They’re called Depends.
Maybe he needs to get Depends. Marissa says he’s making a mess of the whole world. Like those videos he put out that Marissa and Theresa May in England said were really childish! He’s making a huge mess, Grandpa!
Yes, he is, Elijah. But, I guess it all depends on . . . . and before he’s impeached, I might need some Depends.
Grandpa, don’t do that. I use Huggies. You can depend on me. I’m a child, but I’m not childish. Like Jesus said, “a little child shall lead them.”
It wasn’t Jesus who said that, Elijah. It was Isaiah.
Whatever! I’ll talk to Mom. We’ll lend you some of my Huggies.
Views from the Edge 