Elijah on the worst of the worst


Elijah talking about his day with Marissa

Grandpa, Marissa threw her shoe at the television this morning.

Did she break the television?

No, actually, it was a slipper but she thew it hard.

Why’d she throw her slipper at the TV, Elijah?

She thew it at the President.

Why? What was he doing?

He was talking bad to the FBI! He said people like Marissa are “the worst of the worst,” Grandpa! Before I could understand what he’d said, her slipper sailed by my play pen and hit the TV!

Wow! That must have been scary!


manual labor roofing a house for a roofer

Yeah, but what Marissa said he said was scarier. Marissa said the President’s either evil or ignorant and that he should come to Minnesota to see what her cousins do. He should meet some immigrants. They’re not the worst of the worst. Miguel works up on roofs in the hot sun 16 hours a day all summer long, Grandpa.

HOUSEKEEPER-BATHROOMHer other cousin, Maria, makes minimum wage cleaning toilets and making beds for a hotel. It’s not enough to live on. She works hard, Grandpa. So does Marissa. They’re not the worst of the worst. They work harder than you do!

So I have an idea, Grandpa.

Okay, Elijah. Let’s hear it. “Out of the mouths of babes….”

I’m not a baby anymore, Grandpa. I crawled today. I’m seven.

Well, you’re not seven. You’re seven-months. But it doesn’t matter. You’re very wise. Let’s hear it.

Okay, Grandpa, here’s my idea. Everyone elected to office in the United States should have to pass a six-week orientation re-roofing houses and cleaning toilets to qualify for taking the oath of office. That way people like the President will stop insulting good hard-working people like Marissa, Miguel, and Maria, like he did this morning, and Marissa won’t break here television. She can’t afford a new one.


Freshman Class of 115th Congress, January 2017

What a great idea, Elijah! That’s a GREAT idea. Maybe an Amendment to the U.S. Constitution requiring a six-month orientation working in minimum-wage jobs before the oath of office is administered as a hedge against evil, ignorance and the worst of the worst serving in office.

Yeah! Let’s amend the Constitution! What’s a Constitution?

Sometimes, Elijah, you make me smile, even on cruel days when I don’t feel like it.

  • Grandpa Gordon, Chaska, MN, Dec. 15, 2017.




15 thoughts on “Elijah on the worst of the worst

  1. Absolutely a good idea. (Just too mild.)
    (I use “they” for the clumsy he/she. Grammatically incorrect, but much easier to type, and, I think, to read.).
    For years I have said that there should be added to the Constitution a requirement for running for 1) a legislative office, or 2) president or vice president; or for being eligible for a cabinet post or other high administrative post. The requirement would demand that anyone who wanted to contend for such a position be given a mortgage on a house in some place like Levittown, a minimum paying job, and a small collection of shoes and garments suiting such a financial situation. They will be given one month’s salary at minimum wage. They must use an alias. They must not accept help of any kind from any wealthy family or friends — or, of course, any potential donors. At the one year mark, if they have not already been let go from the job, the management will downsize, and the candidate must look for another job. They must do this for a period of two years. At the end of that time, they may return to their former lives. This must be done at the same time as very strict campaign finance reform.
    I know I missed some details, but that’s what I think it would take to straighten out some of these folks.
    Elijah was much more concise.


  2. Please post that video!! And YOU are amazing, and maybe there is a “children’s” book in here somewhere. “The Wisdom of Elijah”, “The Baby Prophet”…i mean it- these conversations between you two are the best ever.

    And, CA and I have always thought that legislators should have to live on minimum wage and work in a dead-end job (with no union) for a year before they can take the oath of office.


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