Tag Archives: Elijah

Grandpa, do I need lawyers?

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Oh, my! Why would you think you need a lawyer, Elijah?

IMG_0255I didn’t say ‘lawyer’, Grandpa. I said ‘lawyers.’ Sometimes you don’t hear so well or just don’t listen. But that’s okay. So, how many lawyers should I have? How many do you and Grandma have?

Right now we don’t have a lawyer, Elijah. We don’t need one.

Why? 

Well, we don’t have need for one, and our lawyer retired, so she’s no longer practicing law.

You have to practice to be a lawyer? Can we practice being lawyers?

It’s confusing. Practice doesn’t mean trying, like trying to walk or say ‘Grandpa’ or throwing the ball to Barclay. It’s a different kind of practice.

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Fred Trump

Yeah, and you can’t practice alone if you’re a lawyer, right? I’ve been watching Ari on The Beat. Michael Cohen’s a lawyer and he has lots of lawyers. President Trump has lots of lawyers. He keeps hiring and firing them. So how many lawyers should we have, Grandpa. You need at least ONE.

Okay, I see where you’re going. But Grandpa doesn’t need a lawyer right now. Neither does Grandma or your Mom. We’re not in any trouble.

I’m in trouble, Grandpa. ICE is coming to my daycare! I know my rights under the Constitution! But Juan and Carlos don’t have rights like me. Their parents don’t either. We’ve been practicing what to do if ICE comes to our daycare. I’m going to be a lawyer when I grow up!

Good for you, Elijah. But before you think about practicing law, let’s practice saying ‘Mama’ and ‘Grandpa’. So far ‘Uh-oh!” is your only word. You need more words, not more lawyers.

  • Grandpa Gordon, Chaska, MN, April 21, 2018.

Elijah’s first word

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Elijah and Kristin are home alone again today, snow-bound by the blizzard that’s hit Minnesota. Elijah is entertaining himself with the car Grandma gave him. His Mom looks on as Elijah’s speaking his first word — well, not exactly a word. Or is it?

“Uh-oh!”

Elijah’s daycare provider only speaks Spanish. “Uh-oh!” is the universal language at daycare. It’s also becoming the first word of those trying to keep up with Elijah at home or at Grandma and Grandpa’s. It’ll be a long day for Kristin. Say a prayer there won’t be too many reasons to say “Uh-oh!”

  • Grandpa Gordon, Chaska, MN, April 15, 2018.

Elijah’s Splish Splash

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Elijah emptying a drawer.

The sound of a big splash came in the split second his Mom turned her back in the bedroom. Elijah had scurried down the hall a few feet to the bathroom, just a quick crawl or walk from the bedroom and his favorite dresser drawer. He’s walking now and he’s into everything. Every drawer. Every light socket. Every everything.

“SPLASH!”

Elijah loves water. He loves his bath. He loves his rubber ducky.

“SPLISH! SPASH!”

Elijah’s no Bobby Darin. He wasn’t taking his bath. There was no rubber ducky in the toilet. To a 10 month old, the whole house is a playground.

  • Grandpa Gordon, Chaska, MN, April 14, 2018.

 

Elijah and his cracker

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Does 10 month old Elijah already enjoy a sense of humor? Can he say “bang”? Does he know what he make a quick recovery with his grape cracker? Click the video of Elijah and his cracker to judge for yourself.

I rest my case!

  • Grandpa Gordon, Chaska, MN, April 7, 2018

Elijah’s Resuscitating Smile

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Elijah’s smile resuscitates the child in Grandpa

“The Lord listened to the voice of Elijah; the life of the child came into [Grandpa] again, and [Grandpa] revived.” – First Kings 17:22, NRSV.

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Elijah returning resuscitated child to his mother,Louis Hersent [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Elijah does for me what the biblical Elijah did for the widow of Zarephath. Just when I think I’m an old has-been without a future, he brings the child in me back to life.

  • Gordon C. Stewart, Chaska, MN, March 26, 2018.

 

 

 

Elijah in the Mirror

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Yesterday Elijah discovered himself in the mirror. He recognized the image as himself. He couldn’t be more delighted.

 

He shows no sense of shame. Or guilt. Or grief. He’s getting a kick out of himself. Meanwhile, Grandma is on the other side of the room recording the moment for posterity. When Elijah reaches a stage when shame, guilt, and grief threaten to sink his spirit, we’ll pull out the video to remind him of his lovable, adorable self.

Between now and that day which will surely come, we enjoy Grandma’s video, and pray the rest of us find our way to similar joy looking back at us from the mirror.

  • Gordon C. Stewart, Chaska, MN, March 22, 2018

Elijah looks in the mirror

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Elijah is toying around with a mirror. He sees himself as he is. But we don’t know whether he knows it’s his own reflection or wether he believes the image in the mirror is a magical friend. He can’t tell us. He doesn’t yet talk. Except with Grandpa on Views from the Edge.

Grandpa, look in my mirror! You’ll see me!

Wow, Elijah, that’s so cool that you can see yourself. But if I look in your mirror I won’t see you. I’ll see me.

Uh, uh! It’s MY mirror! I’m the only one who shows up in my mirror. I’ve never seen anyone else show up in my mirror.

I understand. Mirrors are like that. People who look in a mirror see only themselves.

Yeah, I’m adorable! Everybody says I’m cute!

You are, Elijah. You are. And we’re not making it up. We all think you’re adorable. You make people smile.

Yeah, I’m exceptional, Grandpa! Some people don’t make others smile. They make people sad. Or mad!

I know. But you’re not exceptional. Some people who think they’re exceptional start tweeting early in the morning before they look in the mirror. I think they’re not very happy and they make lots of other people unhappy, too.

Elijah and conceal and carry

Elijah and Grandpa talking about the mirror

Yeah, not like you and me, Grandpa!

Well, it’s not quite that simple, Elijah. Grandpa’s had days when he had a hard time looking in the mirror. I’ve cut myself shaving! I didn’t like what I saw after I’d made other people unhappy. Someday you’ll look in the mirror and be sorry for something you’ve done.

Uh uh! It’s MY mirror! I get to see me just the way I am. Yesterday Grandma said I could be president!

 

  • Grandpa Gordon with Elijah, Chaska, MN, March 18, 2018.

 

 

 

Elijah Rocks!

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“Breaking Silence” brought requests for more from Elijah, my nine-month old grandson. Today, we’ll let Elijah “speak” for himself from his carseat. He’s enjoying a “conversation” with his Mom. Turn up the sound and enjoy Elijah and Kristin.

 

Elijah is named after the prophet Elijah for whom a seat is left empty at every Seder, the Jewish celebration of Passover. But it’s not just the Jewish community who leaves an empty chair for Elijah.

Thanks for coming by. Elijah rock, Shout! Shout! Keep hope alive!

Grace and Peace,

Grandpa, Elijah, and Mahalia, Chaska, MN, March 8, 2018.

Grandpa, Come quick!

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What’s happening, Elijah? You just turned nine months last week. How cool is that?

Elijah 9

Elijah at nine months.

Yeah! That was last week. I’m home in my crib. There’s no daycare today. I’m scared!

There’s no reason to be afraid, Elijah. Your Mom’s going to work but Grandma’s coming to take care of you today. No need to worry.

Uh-huh!  We’re being surveilled, Grandpa! They’re watching us!

Oh my! I’m so sorry you’re afraid, Elijah. But listen to Grandpa. Trust me. No one’s surveilling you. You’re only nine months old. Has Mom been watching “Homeland“?

They are too, Grandpa. We don’t watch “Homeland“. We don’t get Showtime.

Okay. Good. So you don’t watch Carrie Mathieson and Saul Berenson and all that CIA stuff.

Right. Mom likes to read a lot. We don’t watch much TV.

So what makes you think you’re under surveillance?

I don’t just think it, Grandpa. I KNOW it. I’m not making it up. I have hard evidence.

What’s the evidence? How do you know someone’s watching your every move?

IMG_9901-2There’s a camera next to my crib, Grandpa! Right here. I’m looking into it right now. I can’t even sleep in privacy! You gotta get us outta here! You and Grandma go to U-Haul and move all the stuff out and tell Mom not to come home. We’ll feel safer at your house.

It IS a strange world, Elijah, and you’re right. That camera is a surveillance device. But it’s not what you think. It’s not the FBI or the CIA or ICE. Your Mom put it there to keep you safe when she’s in another room.

I knew it. I have no privacy! Nick Harkaway speaks for me:

“Yes, you are under surveillance.

Yes, it is odious.

Yes, it should bother you.

And yes, it’s hard to know how to avoid it.”

Okay. I get it. I understand why the monitor bothers you. But some things can’t be avoided at your age. Some things really are for the sake of your safety. No one’s spying on you. Mom just wants to watch you so nothing bad happens to you.

You’d better check out your computer, Grandpa! Edward Snowden said the NSA may be watching you right now while you’re talking on the internet. Shut it down, Grandpa! Be safe! And remember. I’ll always be here for you in your old age, if they don’t get me first.

Thank you, Elijah! So happy we can chat like this. Happy Birthday.

— Grandpa Gordon and Elijah, Chaska, MN, Feb. 26, 2018.

 

 

 

 

Grandpa, Do we conceal and carry?

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Grandpa, do we conceal and carry?

Well, sometimes Grandma and I carry your bottle when Mom’s away, but we have no need to conceal it. Why?

I’m not talking about bottles, Grandpa. I’m talking about guns. Do we conceal and carry guns?

n_msnbc_brk_douglasteacher_180214_1920x1080.nbcnews-ux-1080-600We don’t, Elijah. We don’t carry guns and, if we did, we wouldn’t conceal them. We like to be open. People who conceal things have something to hide.

That’s not what people in Congress are saying! They think everyone should conceal and carry. Grandpa, do I have to go to school?

Yes. When you’re older you’ll go to school. You have to. Every child in America has to go to school.

I don’t want to!

Sure you do. It’s just like daycare but you’ll be older.

School’s aren’t not like daycare, Grandpa. I saw it on the news. All those kids in Florida got killed. Kids shouldn’t have to go to school. They’re not safe. That’s why the NRA wants conceal and carry to protect us from the bad people.

Okay, now I’m getting your drift. This is really sad. 

Yeah! If I have to go to school, I want to conceal and carry!

Hmmm. I see. You think your school will be safer if everyone conceals and carries so you can get the bad guys.

Right. Exactly. I’m not a Democrat any more. I’m a Republican!

I see. That’s your right under the Constitution.

Yeah! I’m going to exercise my Second Amendment rights!

Well, let’s stop and think about this before we decide to carry anything but your bottle. The Second Amendment isn’t the only right in the Bill of Rights. If we keep going the way we’re going, the Second Amendment will be the only part of the Constitution left. America will become a mass firing range.

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Grandpa, that’s awful! Can I please have my bottle before I open my lemonade stand?

  • Gordon C. Stewart, Chaska, MN, February 15, 2018.