Grandpa, is President You-Know-Who an adult?
Yes, Elijah, he’s 71 years old. You have to be an adult to president. The Constitution says so. You have to be at least 35. Why?
Marissa says he’s a brat. I thought all brats were children.
No, some brats are adults. Some people just never grow up. They think the whole world is centered on them. I don’t want you to grow up thinking that!
Mom told me that last night when I was acting like a brat!
Elijah, I think you must have misunderstood Mom. No six-month old is a brat. You just have needs that sometimes demand a lot of Mom’s attention.
Yeah, like when I need my diapers changed. Does President You-Know-Who’s Mom ever change his diapers, Grandpa?
No, Elijah. He stopped wearing diapers many years ago.
Hmmm. That’s weird.
Why? Why is it weird? President You-Know-Who’s an adult. Only incontinent adults wear diapers for adults. They’re called Depends.
Maybe he needs to get Depends. Marissa says he’s making a mess of the whole world. Like those videos he put out that Marissa and Theresa May in England said were really childish! He’s making a huge mess, Grandpa!
Yes, he is, Elijah. But, I guess it all depends on . . . . and before he’s impeached, I might need some Depends.
Grandpa, don’t do that. I use Huggies. You can depend on me. I’m a child, but I’m not childish. Like Jesus said, “a little child shall lead them.”
It wasn’t Jesus who said that, Elijah. It was Isaiah.
Whatever! I’ll talk to Mom. We’ll lend you some of my Huggies.
- Grandpa Gordon with Elijah, Chaska, December 3, 2017.