Grandpa, Do we conceal and carry?

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Grandpa, do we conceal and carry?

Well, sometimes Grandma and I carry your bottle when Mom’s away, but we have no need to conceal it. Why?

I’m not talking about bottles, Grandpa. I’m talking about guns. Do we conceal and carry guns?

n_msnbc_brk_douglasteacher_180214_1920x1080.nbcnews-ux-1080-600We don’t, Elijah. We don’t carry guns and, if we did, we wouldn’t conceal them. We like to be open. People who conceal things have something to hide.

That’s not what people in Congress are saying! They think everyone should conceal and carry. Grandpa, do I have to go to school?

Yes. When you’re older you’ll go to school. You have to. Every child in America has to go to school.

I don’t want to!

Sure you do. It’s just like daycare but you’ll be older.

School’s aren’t not like daycare, Grandpa. I saw it on the news. All those kids in Florida got killed. Kids shouldn’t have to go to school. They’re not safe. That’s why the NRA wants conceal and carry to protect us from the bad people.

Okay, now I’m getting your drift. This is really sad. 

Yeah! If I have to go to school, I want to conceal and carry!

Hmmm. I see. You think your school will be safer if everyone conceals and carries so you can get the bad guys.

Right. Exactly. I’m not a Democrat any more. I’m a Republican!

I see. That’s your right under the Constitution.

Yeah! I’m going to exercise my Second Amendment rights!

Well, let’s stop and think about this before we decide to carry anything but your bottle. The Second Amendment isn’t the only right in the Bill of Rights. If we keep going the way we’re going, the Second Amendment will be the only part of the Constitution left. America will become a mass firing range.

Concealed-Carry-pic

Grandpa, that’s awful! Can I please have my bottle before I open my lemonade stand?

  • Gordon C. Stewart, Chaska, MN, February 15, 2018.

 

An NRA Christmas

But Mary was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Conceal and carry!

Luke 1: 26-28  NRAV [National Rifle Association Version]

  • Gordon C. Stewart, Chaska, MN, Dec. 22, 2015

Verse – Packin’ heat for Jesus

“Pack some heavy heat, Boys,”
said Jesus to the Apostles
on his way to pray in the
Garden of Gethsemane

and off again to the Mount
of Olives – that liberal
haunt with olive branches,
doves, and sh-t like that –

“Conceal and carry, Boys,”
he’d said, in the Upper Room
where that sissy John
laid against his breast –

“Get your guns, Boys,
the Fags, Commies, and
Mohammad-lovers are
comin’ to kill our faith.

“You have heard that it was
said, ‘love your neighbor’,
but I say, take ‘em out, Boys,
we’re ‘the home of the brave’.”

by J. Feelwell, Re-imagining Jesus, Crusaders Press, Lynchburg, VA, Dec. 9, 2015

  • Gordon C. Stewart, Chaska, MN – Satire Press :-), Dec. 9, 2015.