Another versified look into the private life of Steve Shoemaker:

“What I Carry from the Kitchen Each Morning”

–2 boxes of cereal under my left arm
–1 large glass glass between 2 fingers & thumb of left hand
–1 gallon of 2% milk by the handle with remaining 2 fingers of that hand
–With my right hand, 1 bowl containing a spoon & 4 pills
on a plate with a table-knife balanced precariously on the edge
–1 piece of buttered toast atop the bowl
–a jar of red raspberry preserves clutched between right forearm & where my waist used to be
–An eagerness to break my fast

Steve: Sounds like you’re pretty well-waisted even before you break the fast. Maybe a sequel verse for full-disclosure…about the rest of the meal – the stack of pancakes or the waffles, the half-pound of bacon, the maple syrup, the butter, and the three-cheese omelet.