Verse – “Of the Dead”

Steve hits a home run with this piece. OUCH – and a good laugh.

Verse – “Of the Dead”

De mortuis nihil nisi bonum.

Of the dead speak nothing but good.

As the family gathered

after my mother’s death,

of course we told stories.

My three younger brothers

did not seem to recall

what most disgusted me

about Mom in our youth.

On the phone, she would smile

and say in a sweet voice,

“Good-bye then…see you in church,”

hang-up, and then yell at me,

“Shut-up, when I’m on the phone!

Stop fighting!  You boys drive me crazy!”

Then, RING, and “Hello, there…”

in the sweetest low voice/ imaginable.

…..     …     …     …     …

I had been wanting to play

a CD of clever church songs

for my two unchurched grand-kids,

and as I dropped their father off

to  get his repaired car,

I hit the PLAY button, stepped around

to the driver’s seat, heard them yelling

at each other, smashed the OFF button,

and heard myself out-yell them,

“Shut up!  Stop fighting!

You kids are driving me crazy!”

– Steve Shoemaker, Urbana, Illinois, July 7, 2012

The Bus Tour

See the Windy City!

Learn About America!

Two Hours by Bus–Hop On & Off!

The Tour Bus

….

The tour guide obsequiously spoke

into his mike to the polyglot group

aboard  the double-decker bus that took

them slowly winding through Chicago’s Loop

He thanked each one who put a buck into

the duct-taped peanut jar on their way out,

but few responded generously to/ his hints.

He had a tendency to pout.

He kept repeating “Stay in your seats when

the bus is moving!”  But the kids would run

the aisles and up and down the stairs.  He then

would yell, “Sit down!” –but did not spoil their fun:

He was forceful in his use of language,

but few foreign visitors spoke English…

– Steve Shoemaker, host of “Keepin’ the Faith.” Archive programs, including two with Gordon C. Stewart, can be heard anytimee @ www.will.illinois.edu/keepinthefaith.