Palm fronds and Ashes

Tomorrow morning Ida will be laid to rest. When her family cleaned out her hospice care room, already Spartan in its simplicity, they found stashes of old palm fronds she had saved from Palm Sunday along the way of her 99 years. They were the last things to go, found under her mattress, under her bed, and anywhere else she could think to keep them close. The Palm fronds and mass cards were among her most precious belongings.

In the Christian tradition the Palm fronds from the previous year’s Palm Sunday are burned and saved for the imposition of ashes on Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. “Dust to dust, ashes to ashes.” We are children of dust, and to dust we shall return.

Preparing to lead the Ash Wednesday Service several years ago, I could not find the ashes. The following piece, aired on Minnesota Public Radio, serves as a twinkle in the eye tribute to Ida, whose faith was enviably simple and strong. She never got into the collection of stuff; the few things she retained bore witness to her quiet faith.

Ashes

“They’re missing! Where are the ashes?!”

It’s fifteen minutes before the Service. “Where are the ashes!”

Every year I put the ashes for the Ash Wednesday Service in the credenza in my office. I never gave it a second thought that we had moved the credenza out of my office last fall. I rush downstairs to look for it. No credenza anywhere. Then I remember. We sold it at the Annual Fall Festival! Somebody has our ashes!

What to do with no ashes? Burn some newspapers? Smoke a cigar and use the ashes? No time.

I grab a pitcher and pour water into the baptism font.

I begin the Ash Wednesday Service with the story of the missing ashes. Smiles break out everywhere. Maybe even signs of relief. “Instead of the imposition of ashes this year, we will go to the font for the waters of baptism, the waters of the renewal of life.”

We have some fun justifying the change in the Service, focusing on part of the Gospel text for the day – the words of Jesus himself. “And when you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen my others…. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret…” (Mt. 6:16-18).

People come to the font, one-by-one, for the Imposition of Water. I dip my hand into the font. “Pat, (making the sign of the cross on her forehead), “Dust to dust, ashes to ashes. You are a child of God. Live in this peace.”

After the Service is over, one of the worshipers asks whether anyone has done the same for me. She reaches her hand into the font. “Gordon, dust to dust ashes to ashes. You are a child of God….”

I’ll never forget it. Neither will they.

Somewhere in this world someone has a credenza with a sack full of ashes. Whoever you are, feel free to keep them. They’re all yours.

————

Agatina (Ida) Misiti Terranova was born in Queens, NY, the second child of first generation immigrants. She spoke only Italian until the school truant officers paid a visit to inform Ida and Millie’s parents that all children in America had to go to school. Her father wanted them to stay home to help their mother. Girls didn’t need to go to school! Ida and Millie learned English, went to work in the garment district of NYC, married two brothers, Al (Ida) and Mike (Millie) Terranova, and raised their families on the best Italian cooking and a love that was as demonstrably joyful as their egg plant parmesan sandwiches were mouth-wateringly delicious.

Millie, Al, and Mike preceded Ida in death. May they all rest in peace.

The Fuller Brush Man

In 1959, I was sixteen
and in summer was hired to help a man
who went each day from woman to woman
and sold Fuller Brushes.
……………………………….I’d drive a van
delivering what he had sold. I’d pick
up bags full of the product with the names
and addresses of customers. I’d pack
the van there by the many waiting trains
beside the trailer park.
……………………………….The salesman’s home
was rusty, filled with screaming little kids.
The homes that bought the cleaning gear were from
the poorer parts of town: more kids, and wives
were always home–there was no second car.
The new toilet brush cost just one dollar.

-Steve Shoemaker, Urbana, IL, Feb. 9, 2014

My son’s first drink

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first drink.

Carling Black Label ad

Carling Black Label ad

Off we went to the local watering hole which is only two blocks from the house. I got him a Castle … he didn’t like it – so I drank it.

Then I got him a Carling Black Label, he didn’t like it, so I drank it.

It was the same with the Windhoek Lager and Premium Dry Cider.

By the time we were done with the whiskey, I could hardly push the stroller back home.

– Sent from a friend in Texas. Years ago it could easily have been [we’ll call him] Bob just for the fun of it. Bob’s humor broke the soberness of pondering climate departure. I needed that today.

Their First Apartment

This was so long ago they had
not been together much before
they married. She had not been poor,
but lived with ‘rents and sibs instead
of at the noisy dorms at school.

He was an RA in the first
year dorm for men–a small closet,
the bathroom was clear

Their first apartment seemed quite huge
to him: one wall, a kitchen–two
windows, a bed, a desk, a loo
right here behind that door… The rage

she felt was not at him, nor at
the smallness of the space, but dirt
was everywhere. They could not rest
until they cleaned this pit, her nest.

Steve Shoemaker, Urbana, IL, insanely happy after all these years.
[Our first year was in a tiny one room efficiency]

Verse – “Sleeping Beauty”

How can the woman in my life,
and in my bed, sleep placidly
while lying next to her is ME-
so sexy, handsome–any wife
should toss and turn, moan now and then
just from the pure proximity!

Or better yet, talk in her sleep!
My darling, sweetheart, you’re the man!
Please wake me now with a deep kiss,
my dreams of you fill me with bliss…

Surely now she’ll beg for MOAR!
But instead she starts to snore…

[Consult an urban dictionary for the meaning of “MOAR”]

– Steve Shoemaker, Urbana, IL, Jan. 15, 2014

The 10 Commandments according to Barclay and the Peanuts

It was so cold last Sunday that your breath froze in mid-air. It called for a lighter touch and for compliments for those who braved the cold. Here’s the sermon at Shepherd of the Hill Presbyterian Church in Chaska, MN.

Verse on Snow

I only know three
(Expurgated Version)

I only know three of the Inuit words
for snow, and they are, in translation, “the-snow-
that-falls-light-and-fluffy-and-can-be-ignored;”
“the-snow-wet-enough-to-make-two-obscene-snow-
folks-frolicking-out-in-the-yard;” and then last,
“the-white-stuff-that-falls-so-darn-wet-thick-and-fast-
that-shoveling-is-required-just-to-go-out-
for-beer.” (And that last word is said as a SHOUT!)

Isocrates, Greek teacher and rhetorician

Isocrates, Greek teacher and rhetorician

Steve (Isocrates) Shoemaker, Urbana, IL, January 9, 2014.

Barclay preparing to go to school

All schools in Minnesota will be closed Monday out of concern for children’s safety. Governor Dayton wants no child left behind freezing at a bus stop. The prediction is 50 degrees below zero with wind chill. Meanwhile, seven-month old Barclay is practicing for his first trip outside in booties. He’s a champ, despite the slur in the narration. He’s attending his first obedience class Monday night in New Germany, MN. Unless they call school off.

No coach ever

There is no “U” in TEAM,
so I’ll not pass to you.
Winning isn’t everything,
it’s the lonely thing.
All for none,
and none for all!
When the going gets tough,
the tough say “Enough!”

– Steve Shoemaker, Urbana, IL, Dec. 22, 2013

Limerick on Heinlein’s Razor

My first thought was that he was horrid.
The language he used was quite florid.
Perhaps he was mean
or not very keen–
is it wrong just to say he was stupid?

Steve Shoemaker’s limerickized version of Heinlein’s razor (sometimes called Hanlon’s razor): “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.”