Can you find the split infinitive in “The Only Animal Dumb Enough…”
Valois Cafeteria, Chicago
I just received this email from my friend Steve:”…sitting in Valois Cafeteria in Hyde Park (They have a list on the wall near the menus, ‘President Obama’s Favorites’).
“I was where I was till you interrupted me & pulled me into your hair-styling shop — I hate you guys with Good Hair.
“Would your great insight (and I mean that sincerely, although the Existentialists never quite persuaded me to join their ranks fully) be better or worse if there was not a split infinitive?
“Now back to my Rice Pudding.”
Views from the Edge 
Oh common people. Are we so concerned about grammer that we can’t comment on the substance???
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Well…Mrs. Semar (CA and my English H.S. English teacher) would have been pretty upset., but she’d be really proud that I spelled “grammar” correctly. I always thought Helen (Mrs. Semar) was stodgy until I learned from her obituary that she raced around in a convertible sports car. I suspect she knew none of this was that important. In her 80s she also volunteered at the homeless shelter and the food shelf.
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I blame it on Star Trek myself. So boldly go, and fear not the noisome Grammarians.
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What that, Mr. Spock?
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I was just composing a message giving the same information. Yes, since it is the second conditional, it should be “were.”
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Hi CA – Just received this email from Steve: “In my snotty reply on your good thoughts, I notice on second reading that I should have used the subjunctive (required with the conditional)…. Mrs. Seward, my Urbana, IL, High School teacher once again is shaking her head in her casket…” Mrs. Semar would be shaking her head, too. 🙂
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Oh, another comment. Shouldn’t it be “If there were not a split infinitive?”
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I just received this from Steve: “In my snotty reply to your good thoughts, I notice on second reading that I should have used the subjunctive (required with the conditional)…. Mrs. Seward, my Urbana, IL, High School teacher once again is shaking her head in her casket…”
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I have read that grammarians are no longer opposed to split infinitives, the source having been the Latin form which conveys it in one word. I struggle with it, but do now see the clarity in using split infinitives. There are other changes which bother me more, like failing to recognize the gerund in something like the following: “I appreciate your walking the mile with me.” Suddenly everyone who should know better (and therefore probably does know better than I (yes, “I,” not “me”) is choosing the form “I appreciate you walking the mile with me.” Ouch! What’s the defense for that change? Oh well, as long as I don’t have to hear “Me and him went to the movies.” Oops! I just made myself sick.
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