BREAKING NEWS: TRUMP OUT!

This morning @7:30 a.m EST on Good Morning, America, Donald Trump announced he would not accept the Republican Party nomination after all.

Taking off his “Make America Great Again” cap, puckering his lips and brushing back his orange hair before putting on his NY Yankees hat, ┬áMr. Trump declared,

“I’m a businessman! I never wanted to be president. I just wanted to shake things up. I’m a winner! I won! All politicians are liars and Losers! It could have been so great! Have a nice life, everybody!”

  • Gordon C. Stewart, Chaska, MN, reporting for Views from the Edge: Breaking the Chains that Bind Us, May, 27, 2016