Thomas “the doubter” – Thomas “the Twin” – is my favorite Apostle. He is I. I am he.

Why do I love Thomas?  He’s slow to believe. There are many doubts, too much conflicting evidence that begs the questions. The questions come easily. The answers come harder and are few. “Unless I see the nail prints in his hands and place my own hand where the soldier’s sword had pierced his side,” said Thomas to the too credulous others in the Upper Room, “I will not believe.”

This Holy Thursday “I believe. Lord, help my unbelief.”

Poem “THOMAS THE TWIN” – Steve Shoemaker, Urbana, IL, April 4, 2012

To be a twin is to prove every day

How seeing is not believing.  And so,

Of course, I doubted when my friends would say

Many had seen the Lord.  I said, “If so,

A finger in his nail-pierced hand or where

Sword cut his side will prove he lives for sure.”

Then Jesus came into the room and said

He would let me touch him!  My doubt then was

Overcome by his presence.  And he said

Many would be blessed who believed he was

Alive without the benefit of sight…

Seeing may not lead us into the light.

Tonight, Holy Thursday, at 7:00 p.m. Shepherd of the Hill we will gather around the Lord’s Table. Ruth Janousek has drawn us at the Table.

God's Table at Shepherd of the Hill

Following the simplest Service of Holy Communion, the church will be darkened, lit only by candles held by individual worshiper representing the light of faith. As the Gospel narratives are read aloud … with long silences between them…the candles will be blown out, one by one, as the worshipers recognize ourselves in the story of the betrayal, denial, and flight of the Jesus’ closest friends and followers. It’s an ancient service called Tenebrae, the service of light and shadow.  By the end of the readings, the room will be dark. The only light will be from the Christ candle – the light of God’s faithful mercy and grace that cannot be extinguished.